‘It doesn’t feel like home mummy’

Well as true to its word 3 weeks ago I had my first EC chemo treatment. It consisted of 3 red syringes and 3 clear syringes I immediately felt sick and got quite emotional. My chemo nurse came to see me and talked through everything side effects and how i should expect to feel each week between my cycles.

First week I was super tired the girls came back from holiday and they weren’t very well at all GP reviews, 111 calls and covid tests… Eventually we got them better and I thought I got away with it but….

Low and behold I came down with the bug. 5 days later a trip to hospital where I was neutropeanic but could be managed at home on oral antibiotics so chose the easy way out and trotted home. 4 days after that no better and woke up saturday with a temp of 38. 1 so back to hospital where I was admitted for three days.

It was so tough my picc line wasn’t bleeding and my veins were fast collapsing. I now have the bruises to show it. Hospital now let’s you have 1 visitor and the ward was fantastic and let Kyrie come to see me over the weekend too. Hardest thing saying bye to my girl especially when she got upset about leaving me.

She then spent the weekend at my mum and dad’s as she told them she didn’t want to go home because it didn’t feel like home without her mummy there….. Brutal words from a 5 year old my poor baby girl. ♥️♥️♥️

A bonus from my stay in the hospital However is they got my picc line too bleed with some medicine. So hopefully no more bruises and I’m on the 3 week count down to it being removed. It’s been a long 5 months with something constantly stuck in your arm. I’m looking forward to a nice bubble bath where I don’t have to hang my arm above my head lol.

So my first cycle of the red devil was hardcore to say the least. Another step closer and today was a stage further as I saw my surgeon to discuss the next steps. The surgery has to take place within 6 weeks of my last chemo so looking to be in September. I’ve got another appt after my last chemo when a date will be finalised and pre assessment completed.

Had a long chat with the breast nurse who went through every single detail of what the surgery entails and the long term effects. The position of where my tumour was means I will have an indent on my chest where they will remove the metal pin and surrounding tissue for testing they are also planning on removing up to 4 of my lymph nodes for final testing too.

I will have exercises to complete scars under my arm and across my chest. There is a risk of lymphodeama which is fluid build up under my arm, I cannot have my blood pressure taken on that arm in future and potentially have long term loss of sensation.

So much to take in I’m glad I get to see my surgeon again before pre assessment because going into clinic on your own you don’t come up with the questions your family does so I’m gradually building a list of questions.

Just keep telling myself I’m nearly there I feel a lot more relieved now we’ve had the surgery discussion as I feel like I’m defo coming towards the end of this horrendous chemo. 2nd cycle of EC tomorrow praying for a bit more of an easy ride this time round and no temperatures.