March the 25th i started my chemotherapy journey…. 15 chemo bags, 30 blood tests, 6 scans, 23 picc line dressing changes, 3 admissions into hospital, and 18 syringes of EC chemo on the 6th of August I finished!!
When someone says the word ‘cancer’ I agree it’s a pretty terrifying word. Having now gone through chemotherapy for 4 months that word terrifies me more. I can’t explain the sudden onset of sickness, the anxiety, the awful taste in your mouth, the out of body experience you have during administration! It is one of the most horrific situations I have been through in my life and the knowing of how shit your going to feel afterwards for at least a week!!
This was me 6 months ago…. And this is me…. Now
It’s taken a lot for me to even take this photo but thanks to the macmillan ‘look good feel better’ program they were amazing. Over zoom they taught me how to draw on my eye brows!! Tricks to make it look like I have eye lashes and how to care for my scalp ready for regrowth. The course gave me confidence and even though this is the only photo I have taken without my head scarf I feel empowered and not as scared. For now ‘this is me’ and my hair will and has started to grow back.
The only worry I currently have is by about lunchtime I seem to find myself with only one eye brow or half of one ….. Oh the joys hey lol if anyone sees me in this predicament please tell me lol.
So now my chemo has finished it was back to my surgical team for another pre op appointment discussion, consent form signed, date set and a small glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. So stage 2 removal of the margins and lymph nodes. Date set for the 14th September!!! I feel like I’m getting some control of my life back I hate not knowing what’s happening and where I need to be but now I have the date I can plan things and enjoy the rest of the summer with my girls.
I also lost my friend on my last chemo too… Woohoo the relief was massive not so much when they pulled a 30cm line out my arm like a whippet but my first proper bubble bath up to my chin for 5 months was delish lol.
So as they say onwards and upwards surgery plans in place, return to work pencilled in, jaycie return to nursery pencilled in. Just keep everything crossed for my results in October if I get the all clear next step will be radiotherapy to blast away any reminants of the bastard if I don’t get the all clear it’s back for more surgery and potentially more chemotherapy in tablet form for a longer period.
when life gives you lemons 
Inspirational as always Jackie. You look amazing by the way – please don’t doubt your beauty.
As you say, onwards and upwards now with surgery date, return to nursery for Jaycie and return to work dates all pencilled in – fantastic!
Thank you for continuing to share your journey Jackie. Lots of love. xxx
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